And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
