Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
