hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
