when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
