so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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