feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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