i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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