I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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