im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Ladies don't puke and tell
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
