I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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