i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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