if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
