I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
