We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
