if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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