I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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