I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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