I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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