i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize