the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I want her autograph on my taint
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
