break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
