With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
