Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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