Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Drunk is not a location!
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