i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
