put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
