Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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