what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
