I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
