Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Someone shattered a urinal.
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Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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