We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize