I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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