Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize