ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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