NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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