Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
smell my finger.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
