Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
