Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize