glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
