The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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