Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
