Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
