I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize