I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
