I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
