I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize