I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
