Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dear god my vagina.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize