I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
