Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there. http://tfl.nu/bvrv
  Replies (27) Good night (4624) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out. http://tfl.nu/rr3m
  Replies (91) Good night (4095) Bad night (16263) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules. http://tfl.nu/xkjo
  Replies (46) Good night (4349) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..

  (614): View more from Ohio

  ya and it worked didnt it??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron.. (614): ya and it worked didnt it?? http://tfl.nu/b3g5
  Replies (27) Good night (6367) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas. http://tfl.nu/264e
  Replies (20) Good night (4294) Bad night (1220) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck. http://tfl.nu/gj91
  Replies (23) Good night (1357) Bad night (4538) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company http://tfl.nu/2763
  Replies (13) Good night (587) Bad night (2371) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night? http://tfl.nu/ookm
  Replies (2) Good night (2184) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests. http://tfl.nu/12h2
  Replies (11) Good night (2626) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope. http://tfl.nu/0uer
  Replies (2) Good night (1205) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic. http://tfl.nu/24xb
  Replies (1) Good night (986) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now? http://tfl.nu/50ap
  Replies (2) Good night (1080) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart. http://tfl.nu/7jwu
  Replies (2) Good night (618) Bad night (170) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished. http://tfl.nu/wyym
  Replies (4) Good night (203) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me. http://tfl.nu/btwi
  Replies (3) Good night (208) Bad night (301) Order T-Shirt

Randomize