What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i already hear my dad disowning me
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
