Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.

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(202): I want to give you a handjob with my mouth. http://tfl.nu/s0yv

Replies (25) Good night (2022) Bad night (462)
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(315): View more from New York

Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.

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(315): Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win. http://tfl.nu/wty0

Replies (66) Good night (2005) Bad night (761)
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(530): View more from California

shit pants at work. discarded underwear.

(1-530): View more from California

just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?

(530): View more from California

yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.

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(530): shit pants at work. discarded underwear. (1-530): just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now? (530): yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye. http://tfl.nu/oxzl

Replies (44) Good night (957) Bad night (4870)
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(970): View more from Colorado

How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?

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(970): How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy? http://tfl.nu/ky06

Replies (27) Good night (6061) Bad night (845)
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(970): View more from Colorado

There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.

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(970): There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/bv2v

Replies (10) Good night (4387) Bad night (752)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.

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(402): Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year. http://tfl.nu/x76y

Replies (18) Good night (3608) Bad night (856)
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(905): View more from Ontario

they call him Oral-B. enough said

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(905): they call him Oral-B. enough said http://tfl.nu/vhzo

Replies (12) Good night (2966) Bad night (750)
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(660): View more from Missouri

Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me

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(660): Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me http://tfl.nu/ir9q

Replies (4) Good night (945) Bad night (1981)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.

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(740): Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward. http://tfl.nu/xwna

Replies (3) Good night (822) Bad night (1696)
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(415): View more from California

Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.

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(415): Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited. http://tfl.nu/jdnb

Replies (24) Good night (5299) Bad night (963)
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(214): View more from Texas

Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?

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(214): Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece? http://tfl.nu/qvgx

Replies (9) Good night (1429) Bad night (842)
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(703): View more from Virginia

you seemed to enjoy falling down hill

(540): View more from Virginia

wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint

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(703): you seemed to enjoy falling down hill (540): wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint http://tfl.nu/kb4o

Replies (4) Good night (1274) Bad night (581)
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(574): View more from Indiana

I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.

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(574): I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help. http://tfl.nu/f05s

Replies (2) Good night (776) Bad night (358)
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(425): View more from Washington

Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET

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(425): Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET http://tfl.nu/8n1t

Replies (5) Good night (815) Bad night (385)
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(850): View more from Florida

Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.

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(850): Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too. http://tfl.nu/dtev

Replies (8) Good night (477) Bad night (187)

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