hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.