Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(786): View more from Florida

my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao

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(786): my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao http://tfl.nu/rabe

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(847): View more from Illinois

so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".

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(847): so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration". http://tfl.nu/m5rh

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(301): View more from Maryland

Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today

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(301): Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today http://tfl.nu/gkj4

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(894): View more from

just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit

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(894): just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit http://tfl.nu/2422

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(515): View more from Iowa

Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit

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(515): Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit http://tfl.nu/4m5n

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(613): View more from Ontario

Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.

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(613): Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big. http://tfl.nu/u6h6

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(913): View more from Kansas

If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.

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(913): If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out. http://tfl.nu/0a1m

Replies (15) Good night (3336) Bad night (990)
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(408): View more from California

I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.

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(408): I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/f5jy

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(801): View more from Utah

I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.

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(801): I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl. http://tfl.nu/k0v0

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(305): View more from Florida

If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.

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(305): If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals. http://tfl.nu/sngt

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes

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(501): I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes http://tfl.nu/3ixk

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(714): View more from California

She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?

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(714): She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what? http://tfl.nu/cv8q

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(816): View more from Missouri

I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.

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(816): I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose. http://tfl.nu/acx3

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(330): View more from Ohio

Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.

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(330): Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce. http://tfl.nu/fes5

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(336): View more from North Carolina

that was THE gayest party i've ever been to

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.

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(336): that was THE gayest party i've ever been to (1-336): To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting. http://tfl.nu/c4g2

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