Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
