look no pants
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
