I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
