On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize