Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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